wow

cool.

in case i didn't mention i've had a complete down fall of events in my life since January 18.

fuck everything.

i'm not a bad person, i work so fucking hard and for what.

nothing.

i hate going through my computer and looking through old shit, i came across good memories of a certain person.

then i found a conversation that pissed me off and i shouldn't have read it.

people are such bitches.

it makes me wonder why i ever even wanted to be okay with them in the first place.

all i feel is hostility.

i'm fucking pissed.

1. Do you like getting kissed on the forehead?
yes, sometimes.

2. What is your current mood?
fucking pissed.

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to the person you did?
no not at all.

4. What is the next trip your taking?
chico with chris.

5. Can you touch your tounge to your nose?
nahh.

6. What is your over used phrase?
"wait, really?"

7. What are you wearing?
black long sleeve with white lace underneath, and jeans.

8. What are your plans for friday?
keg stands in chico.

9. What is a flaw you have?
i often over exaggerate things, but thats just one of many.

10. Do you like beer?
no, i love it.

11. What are you going to do later today?
laying down with chris when he comes home from work

12. Do you make good decisions?
i wouldn't say they're nessasairly good, but i always think about things before i do them.

13. Where are you always other then your own home?
jonnnss is my second i home.

14. How many of these drugs have you done: weed, shrooms, thizz, heroin, cocaine and acid
three.

15. Do you have more guy friends or girl friends?
boys, by far. i only have 3 friends that are girls

16. Look to your left, what do you see?
a picture of me and chris on the beach in santa cruz.

17. Would you rather get flowers, or a nice note?
definetly a nice note.

18. How often do you party?
every weekend. lol

19. If your listening to music, who are you listening to?
matthew pullinger.

20. Do you have anything in your mouth?
tounge ring.

21. Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
baby.

22. Who was the last person to spend the night in your bed?
baby.

23. Can you be under the influence in front of your parents without them knowing?
lol no my dad can always tell, but Sheil doesnt always catch me.

24. What is one of your favorite things to do to pass time?
play video games, either on the ps3 or xbox 360. the wii got so old.

25. What really bugs you?
when girls call boys by there full name, when people put there hands all over my cheese sticks, stupid girls who think being mean is "cool" and when girls where heels to school.

26. Could you survive without the internet/computer?
are you kidding? if i couldn't google i'd die.

well nothings really changed since last time i wrote exxcepppt

i'm 16 now biiitches.

but

me and chris still together.

i'm getting my licenses next week, hopefully.

but i have to drive the stupid bug. oh well, im going to drive the audio everywhere but to and from school.

yeeahh.

Sheil and duane are going out of town next weekend.

& rachel moved out today.

siiick.

pretty content right now.

just trying to stay positive, look on the bright side of things.

i'm sick of life not being fair.

why do certain things happen to certain people.

what did i ever possibly do to deserve this?

i've always known that these sort of things just happen, but what i can never comprehend, and tell myself is:

there is nothing i can do about it.

i need to honestly learn to get over things.

i don't know how, but i guess time will tell.

i'm moving on thursday. two bedroom apartment, four people.

i have to share a room.

wow.

fucking cool.

but on the bright side, i turn 16 soon, i get my licenses in almost a month, which means, freedom.

way to stay postitive?

So i've come to terms with reality, and i've analyzed this over and over again.

i was sitting at a park next to my apartment complex and some people were fighting on their balcony and the girl walked out and left blahblahblah and the guy was like crying on the balcony.

now i think its strange, because for that person, his life has probably changed drastically, and for me, i'm just going to get up in a minute or two and walk away from this situation with my life not having changed one bit.

this past week i've been analyzing being on the outside looking in.

perfect example, that girl died yesterday, and it i didn't know her at all, so for me, today is just another day and i will go on with my life virtually like nothing happened at all. but for a large amount of people their lives will never be the same.

i guess this all means that i'm actually getting reality, and for me the world goes on, but everyday for other people, it seems like it's came to an end.

i'm not sure what im trying to say by this, or what im trying to accomplish.